M.I.A.

I am so lazy that I have traced a pattern from a drain cover. I am about to fail all of my exams and I am still hung up over the most infantile ridiculous things. It's so annoying and stupid and wrong. I HATE caring about things which I know that I shouldn't because it is a complete waste of my energy and time. Also, I have been invited to two events by friends of my ex's and I can't decide whether or not to go because it is obviously probably going to be really awkward and uncomfortable but I can't lose face and I don't want to be That Girl Who Makes Decisions based on some guy. Eurgh. Shoot me. I am the ultimate in teenage girl cliches. Pathetic. SOTD: Arthur Russell- Keeping Up

Everything is Futile

This is late. Everything is late. Everything IS futile. I need to get an A. I need to get an A. I need to get lots of As. I need to get off of the internet. I need to sleep. It's all nothing.

Lana Del Hey

So, I really love Lana Del Rey. I like You Can Be The Boss and how it opens with the line "you taste like the fourth of July, malt liquor on your breath, my my, I love you but I don't know why". In other news. Also. Yeah. My life is void of things and events. Today I watched 500 Days of Summer and then got on the bus listening to The Smiths and was feeling all sad and lame. Good..story. If Lana Del Rey was my friend I would definitely like kiss her all the time. She's hot.
SOTD: Lana Del Rey- You Can Be The Boss

I almost forgot to post. Here's something I made for my friend just for fun. Fun, hm. It's rubbish, obviously. In brackets it says 'LUCY IS THE COW.' I just finished the last of my banoffee hot chocolate. Today I realised that I don't really like Pizza Hut or the way that some girls insist on drawing their eyebrows onto their faces as though they grabbed hold of a permanent marker and got carried away. I also started talking to this guy that I talk to sometimes, which is a bad idea, because it's always about sex and I am completely Not Ready. When will I be, though? It's been two months. Que the violins.
SOTD: The Human League- Don't You Want Me Baby
www.youtube.com/embed/9EHpozHn-QA

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

So today's drawing is shit, because I have been really busy doing fuck all today. Also when so you get over wanting to fuck someone's brains out? When does that end?
SOTD: Washed Out- You & I

I Am Petty

I think the drawing says it all, really. I hate lose ends. I want to tie your thin arms around your neck so it can all be neatly finished. Unresolved issues are what have made me into this bitter yellow citrus fruit. If you prick us, do we not bleed? Well, I bleed acid, baby.

Realise I Look Suspicious

List:
1) I hate the word 'creme'.
2) I want to learn how to make macaroons. (The posh, colourful ones.) I've never eaten them.
3) I went to the National Gallery the other day and realised that I know nothing about art and I want to know EVERYTHING about art.
4) I wonder why David Hockney was so obsessed with The Sermon of The Mount, why he painted it so many times.
5) I don't understand The Creation of Adam. I like it though.
6) Pritt Stick is really expensive.
7) I want to translate Veni Creator Spiritus.
8) I wonder if there are some people who you will just love unconditionally forever and they will always stay with you even though they live across the world in happiness with their civil partnership and successful career as a music scholar and you never speak to them again.
9) I can't bare the music in films.
10) I love the line "the air hangs heavy but the weight is delicious, glimpsed my image in a window, realised I look suspicious".
11) I really don't like celery or my complexion.
12) I feel like some knowledge is nothing without other knowledge. Who wants an incomplete picture of life?
13) The only reason I got dressed this evening is incase Abby comes home before I go to bed.
14) Formaldehyde.
15) My friends don't like me as much as I like my friends
16) I really like drawing with biro.
17) I am really shit at art.
18) I just want to make you a cup of tea.
19) They used to talk about death when he was seven and he couldn't understand it. You can't visualise death, really.
20) I don't think being relateable is all that really, I think it should be okay to make vile things into art or stories and have kids read it, because who made what is illegal illegal?
21) I want to wash my baby in a bucket.

SOTD: Swans- You're Not Real Girl
http://www.youtube.com/embed/5QfdsrCEuxA

Don't Do Anything Today

I tried to draw a whale today and it turns out that whales are really hard to draw. I saw The Wave Pictures perform four or five songs at Rough Trade East on Tuesday evening and they were really good. I am listening to Long Black Cars for the second time in a row, and it is drawing to a close, and I am aware of my dependency on this music for my current contented state. Many thanks are due. I did the right hand side of this drawing ages ago (a week or two ago) and I didn't know what to do with it so I just transcribed some Degas on the right in green, and added those words, which, incidentally, are taken from a song on The Wave Pictures' new album.
"Baby these are the eyes that will drive you out of your mind."

SOTD: The Wave Pictures- Eskimo Kiss
www.youtube.com/embed/iSp86CBceTE

Today

Oh I guess now 'today' means yesterday. Yesterday I went to two exhibitions which I had been anticipating in a big way. David Hockney's A Bigger Picture at the Royal Academy of Arts and David Shrigley's Brain Activity at the Hayward Gallery. I love David Shrigley so much and was laughing in the gallery which was really nice. I spent loads of money (seventeen pounds to me is like a thousand) on a bag and a book and some postcards. The Hockney exhibition didn't really quite live up to my expectations. But I think this is in part my own fault. I hadn't researched and didn't realise that it was only his landscapes. I did really like them, but there was just a real plethora of work, and way too many people. Saying things like 'I could do this.' You could also make your own coffee, but you don't tell the Starbucks servers that. Eh. I really like the way he paints though, his use of colour makes landscapes accessible to me, personally. He made me want to paint. Which is the best feeling. The image is something I'm kind of working on at the moment. Not sure how it's going to turn out. And life is a bit messy at the moment. I feel as though it would be nice to define myself before I can talk to anyone else. I feel as though who I am is just formed from agreeing with other people..which isn't much of an identity. I also need to get a job because today my dad was stressed or had low blood sugar levels and said 'take my bank balance and spend it on drugs and alcohol', and I'd just made him food and tried to be nice to him and it came from nowhere, just because he can't be bothered to deal with his own problems and his diabetes. I feel ill at the thought of depending on someone who thinks so little of me. Which is why it is going to be god-awful going back to sixth form and begging to be able to continue despite failing, and despite failing to hand in work. Tomorrow's going to be awkward. This post is decidedly sullen, nullifying my actual tranquil and somewhat happy state. Whatevs.
www.youtube.com/embed/I33fRHbfOIA